shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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