someone threw a dead crab at me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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