she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
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Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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