So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
