Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
