This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
