Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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