All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
