That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
