Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
