i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
