Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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