I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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