Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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