It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Every concussion has its silver lining
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
