Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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