The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
thus making me awesome and them whores
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
