babies were throwing up all over the place
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
