K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
