Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
