thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
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Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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