Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
