Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
