Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize