I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i need an iv and a liver transplant
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
