You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
