Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
