the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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