last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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