his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
