I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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