I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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