Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
