How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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