i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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