okay pat passed out under dana's car
there was a trapeze. enough said
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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