New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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