I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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