After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
