She is in my trunk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
