This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
