I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
