Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
