I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
