i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
