i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
