I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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