I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
