I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
