i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
