we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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