with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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