dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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