That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
