Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
