I think my vagina is haunted
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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