toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize